5 Signs That You Are In A Codependent Relationship
Amidst all the terminology we deal with, we don’t quite know what a codependent relationship is and isn’t. Therefore, it is very important that you know how to differentiate this way of relating to your partner. Do you want to know more about the subject?
Being an emotionally dependent person is different from having a codependent relationship. Although both terms use the word dependent , they do not mean the same thing. That’s why today we’re going to delve into the codependency relationship, which is quite common. So much so that it’s hard to identify her.
What is a codependent relationship?
The Group for the Analysis and Study of Emotional Dependence (GAEDE) explains, in a very clear way, what a codependent relationship is. What happens is that people become obsessed and worried about their partner in a relationship between equals.
So that this may be clear, a codependent relationship is formed by two people who suffer from emotional dependency. That’s how they feed back. For this reason, this type of relationship usually lasts a long time.
Sometimes people aren’t emotionally dependent until they’re with a partner. This is because they don’t know how to relate in a healthy way.
Signs that you are in a codependent relationship
Being in a relationship like this, even if it lasts for years, is not ideal. In fact, this kind of relationship wears out and ends up creating toxic patterns that don’t do any good.
Fortunately, it is possible to get out of this situation and learn to relate in a different way. For this, you need to pay attention to all these signs that will indicate that you are in a codependent relationship.
1. You sacrifice to make the other person happy
You must forget the idea that loving someone means sacrificing yourself. These two concepts have nothing to do with each other. If what you’re going to sacrifice is going out with your friends, meeting your family often, taking the course you wanted to take, or moving to another place of work, you’re not in a healthy relationship. Remember that you are still an individual person, even if you share your life with someone else.
2. Are you afraid that the other person will be angry
In popular culture, there is a term to refer to this: walking on eggshells . Is what happens to you in relation to your partner? If you are always careful not to say something so as not to upset him, or if you take responsibility for the anger he expresses over something you said or did, be careful! You can be in a codependent relationship.
3. You take care of your partner, but you don’t feel he takes care of you
This is something that often happens in codependent relationships: nothing seems to be enough for you. Since you sacrifice so much, you expect the same from the other person.
But, you know what? Maybe she doesn’t want to sacrifice herself or isn’t able to reach the same level of sacrifice as you did. For this to be resolved, you must start taking care of yourself. Then you can take care of your partner, but with limits.
4. Are you afraid your partner will leave you
There is no sign, everything is going well. However, in your mind, obsessive thoughts begin to arise that cause this fear of being abandoned to grow every day. This is unhealthy and will lead you to do things for the other person to avoid this imaginary abandonment. You may even decide to break off the relationship to immediately engage another who will, once again, be codependent. You need to get out of this cycle.
5. You try to change the other person
It’s quite possible that you don’t realize it, but through your actions, you try to change the other person. This is because you control down to the smallest details, as the fear of being abandoned makes you obsessive.
You want to have everything tied up pretty tightly, but it gets to a toxic point. This is a mistake. As Silvia Congost says: “ It is possible to love without self-destruction and without trying to change the partner” .
Relationships should make us happy
Did you feel represented in all these signs? Do you think you can’t live without the other person? Do you think your life is meaningless without her? Relationships like this are more frequent than you might think, and they’re not healthy.
That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the signs to find a solution for this type of relationship. If having a partner has become a necessity, we are doing something wrong.
If you’re not happy in your relationship or if you’re living with a lot of anxiety, you can get help. More and more people rely on psychologists to resolve toxic and harmful relationships. Love must be synonymous with happiness, desire and tranquility.